Maggie's Farm

Maggies Farm


I'm not going back to Maggie's farm no more
She kept leaving pig swill on top of the doors
Cows were rolling themselves off the barn
Chickens with machine guns caused a lot of alarm

The pigs were intent on causing a riot
Horses kept gambling way into the night
Drinking strong liquor and swearing profusely
The geese were all leery and thoroughly goosey



That farm is a nightmare of animal mayhem

Postage Increases

Postage Increases

Damn these postage increases
My letters now have to be ironed
To fit them through that slitty thing
They mess around with at the post office

Parcels are filled with helium
To make them eligible for a discount
Our sent by surface where they languish
On the quayside surrounded by natives