Friday, 24 June 2011

Jim's Shed

Jim's Shed

At the bottom of the garden
Tucked away behind the greenhouse
Is Jim's shed
A place of wonder and confusion
Flower pots and rusty tools
Is Jim's shed
A treasure trove of paint pots
Old records and spools of tape
Was Jim's shed
A place to hide and escape
From all the kids and the missus
Is Jim's shed


Come on down to Jim's shed
It's lovely down at jim's shed
Get the old kettle on
Down at Jim's shed
Let's all have a cuppa tea
Down at Jim's shed

Car Boot Sale

Car Boot Sale

You can buy all manner of stuff
Scratchy records covered in fluff
Tins of pins and rusty metal
A bit of a spout from some old kettle

There's no toilets as you can see
But you can go behind a handy tree
Or just there where the sign says "gents"
Between the hot dogs and the wonky fence

Clothes that have seen better days
Books, comics and novelty ash trays
Oh please lets hope its sunny
I wanna go out and spend some money!

Unusual Holidays

Unusual Holidays.

Ive been on some unusual holidays in my time
Like whittling potatoes at Newcastle Under Lyme
Pheasant plucking in Portsmouth also comes to mind
I've been on some unusual holidays in my time

I've been on some unusual holidays in my day
Like riding a camel across Cardiff Bay
Skiing down the the middle of ther Wembly Way
I've been on some un ususual holidays in my day

I've been on some unusual holidays in my life
Like jumping off the top of the Old Man Of Fife
In Margate where I went duck hunting with the wife
I've been on some unusual holidays in my life

It's A Funny Old Street


Mr. Jones and number twenty four
Has a coupla'cabbages nailed to his door
Mrs. Brown at number thirty five
Has thirteen elephants blockin' her drive

Its a funny old street
A bleedin' funny old street

Old Mr .Simpson from number forty two
Has a giant cactus growing in his loo
The Smiths from number fifty three
Have a gorilla in their monkey puzzle tree

His Twang Was The Thang

His Twang Was The Thang

His twang was the thang
The chords they rang out like springs
Bounced around the strings like klang
Or other excited bees with stings
Jam covered and infested with notes
Goats and enormous cow bells rang
Above the clouds they rained down
Like elasticated yo-yo's
Elevated to the highest crown

Monday, 13 June 2011

Charity Shop

Charity Shop

I popped into my local charity shop
Had a good rummage through the shelves full of tat
Through all the boxes of wonderful slop
The charity shop is where it's at

I bought an old scratchy record, a wobbly pen
A book that smelled like a musty old shed
Some tapes with old films on from way back when
A shop window dummy with a removable head

It's amazing what you find there
To some people it's junk and not worth a jot
But to others it's treasure most fair
I fill my carrier bag up right to the top!