The Great Train Robbery

The Great Train Robbery

Zoot alors!
Quick fetch a gendarme
The thieving wretch has my train
Under one arm
Trying to swap it for a loaf
The awful oaf!

Mon dieu!
My chermin de fer
Has been stolen by a wily woman
With curly hair
Stop her before it's too late
And they close the crossing gate

Shoplifters

Shoplifters

Shoplifters came and took my shop
They carried it off
With several others from our block
The butcher, the baker and the iron-mongers
I wonder where they took it?
Why did they leave the bookies
And the shop that sells knitting wool?
Did they think that wasn't cool?
Or maybe just too heavy
With all those pork chops.

The Snowman

The Snowman


As I walked passed some leafless trees
I thought I heard a stifled sneeze
There around a holly bush
Was a snowman with a brush

He was sneezing ever louder
From his hat he shook some powder
A mighty sneeze then rent the air
And made me wet my underwear

A carrot shot past like a rocket
A lump of coal fell from its socket
His twiggy grin was there no more
Just a heap of slush upon the floor