Invermess

Invermess


Welcome to Invermess
Where the streets are paved with thistles
The parks are full of recycled kilts
The pavements strewn with whistles

Piles of cornflakes everywhere
In every nook and cranny
Corners full of wrappers
From sweeties sucked by Grannie

Every garden every park
Has rubbish up to your knees
This town is messy but
Not as smelly as Dungdee.

Dusty Bluebells

Dusty Bluebells


In and out the dusty bluebells
In and out the dusty bluebells
With my hoover in my grasp
Sucking up the dust
As the sun goes down at last

In and out the hoover goes
Underneath the flowers
Sucking up the seeds and stones
Beneath the shadey bowers

In and out the dusty bluebells
In and out the dusty bluebells
Around the flower tubs
Somethings blocking up the tube
I think it's worms and slugs

Angel Of The Hi-Fi Corner Fitment

Angel Of The Hi-Fi Corner Fitment


Hi-fi
Corner fitment
It plays old bent records
They sound quite heavenly to me
Angel

Communication Blocks

Communication Blocks

Erm erm- squiggle germ
Umm de umm de tiggle squirm
Oh it's - you know - er very
Much like mmmmmn.... whatsit
Erm erm - something heavy

Sam's Pig

Haiku


Sam's pig looked up at the moon
I wonder - he thought
Is it really made of cheese?

The Great Train Robbery

The Great Train Robbery

Zoot alors!
Quick fetch a gendarme
The thieving wretch has my train
Under one arm
Trying to swap it for a loaf
The awful oaf!

Mon dieu!
My chermin de fer
Has been stolen by a wily woman
With curly hair
Stop her before it's too late
And they close the crossing gate

Shoplifters

Shoplifters

Shoplifters came and took my shop
They carried it off
With several others from our block
The butcher, the baker and the iron-mongers
I wonder where they took it?
Why did they leave the bookies
And the shop that sells knitting wool?
Did they think that wasn't cool?
Or maybe just too heavy
With all those pork chops.