Exercises

One of the first Boomerang postcards I ever had made from the late 80's. Went on to have several others published that were given away in cinema foyers and student union bars etc. I got paid in cards - 500 altogether. So a lot of the earlier ones like this are all gone now. Collectors items!

Sir John Betjemen's Rocket

Sir John Betjemen's Rocket


How long it flew, how straight it flew,
It cleared the leafy gardens
And soaring disappeared from view
Beyond Windsor , Brent and Morden
A glorious , whizzing rocket now
That's on it's way to Slough

Screen Scream

Screen Scream

You scream , me scream
We all scream at the TV screen
60 channels and nothing there
It's enough to make you swear

The New Carpet

The New Carpet


I'll always remember the new carpet
Gaudy swirling patterns that baffled
The brain and eyes into submission
Bought with the football pools money
Twenty quid was a lot in those days
It was either that or a week at Butlins
I know what I'd rather have.

Owl Stretching Time

Owl Stretching Time

Its that time again.
When feathered friends are here.
The blackbird is yawning
The blue tit flutters near

Those ducks are feeling sleepy
That robin's eyes are red
He's been up all night
Hopping round the bed

These owls have it sorted
They sit upon the clocks
Ready to put on pyjamas
And pull up there wooly socks

It's owl stretching time
Their feathers go all slack
The clock is striking eleven
It's time to hit the sack

Maggie's Farm

Maggies Farm


I'm not going back to Maggie's farm no more
She kept leaving pig swill on top of the doors
Cows were rolling themselves off the barn
Chickens with machine guns caused a lot of alarm

The pigs were intent on causing a riot
Horses kept gambling way into the night
Drinking strong liquor and swearing profusely
The geese were all leery and thoroughly goosey



That farm is a nightmare of animal mayhem

Postage Increases

Postage Increases

Damn these postage increases
My letters now have to be ironed
To fit them through that slitty thing
They mess around with at the post office

Parcels are filled with helium
To make them eligible for a discount
Our sent by surface where they languish
On the quayside surrounded by natives